i'm exhausted but here are my (completely unedited an probably schitzophrenic) notes from the Emmy red carpet ...


6:01 -- jane lynch looks gorgeous in that plum color! but i cant tell if its LONG or SHORT andddd i need it to be long. pan down, camera!!! also awkward how she has to hunch over a bit because ryan seacrest is a teensy sprite -- AH ITS LONG! she looks great. hahaha funeral jokes, god she's hilarious.

6:03 -- guiliana, shut the FUCK up. you're not a real celeb and no one cares what you are wearing. but i like your damn shoes.

6:05 -- jimmy fallon. asshole better do a good job because i honestly think he is, in fact, not funny. ALSO sarah hyland from modern family looks good, and she's like younger than me, but she looks all glam and shit and that's how i'd hope to look if i ever got an emmy four years ago. also when did jimmy fallon get married? and she is ORANGE, yo. that's some fake tanner gone way bad.

6:13 -- carrie ann inaba is not a celebrity. get her the fuck out of the glam-cam. AND STOP referencing jersey shore. this is about TELEVISION not SHIT

6:17 -- my fellow Oregonian and blazers fanatic TY BURRELL! ahhh he looks so cute and i like his gray suit a lot. SPOTTED: eva longoria. i kind of forgot she existed...

6:18 kelly osbourne - meh. like, what are you doing here? but, she looks reeeeally good for kelly osbourne.

6:19 is that carrie preston? does anyone know who that is other than me? IS THAT HER? ryan seacrest stop talking about kathy griffin and LET ME KNOW who that redhead is! if she is carrie preston, she's ben linus' wife and arlene from true blood, in case you were wondering.

6:25 -- the mayor of LA and joel mchale. The THING IS, i hate community. AND joel mchale. WHEN ARE WE GOING TO SEE REAL CELEBRITIES? I'm really so disappointed in this red carpet coverage, E!

6:26 -- kevin mchale! okay excited about this. always weirds me out that he's not in a wheelchair in real life. ah what a cutie with his glasses! spotted: angela from the office! does she have weird extensions? i like her dress though, it is black. i kneeeew there was gonna be hella black, speaking of it kathy griffin is also wearing it! that dumb E! guy predicted a lot of nudes/beiges but i knew he was wrong. hella black.

6:28 -- emma from glee! CUTE dress, navy blue? dont love the necklace though its very spice girls music video.

6:33 -- mark salling. BOMB but i miss the mohawk! except i think his tie is crooked and someone needs to help him. he's kind of awkward. OH meeting kim kardashian. hahahahaha. kim!! i reeeally dislike that dress, kim. it's not bad, but it's really not great and it gives her a boob shelf and the dress is too flowy and she looks like she could be pregnant, although god help the world if that's true.

6:36 kim and lea meet! cute! lea michele is a kim fan. AND is wearing a lot of bling. and now kim is interviewing her. she looks bomb in her oscar de la renta, but i wish she'd lose the necklace. but i KNEW she was going to go dark. and she still has the bangs. she's just so gleeful in real life so its hard for me to get too down on her.

6:39 -- claire danes. what the fuck was she in? oh right, that made for movie temple grandin about that autistic woman. remember when she was beth in little women? her best role, probably. OH WAIT my so called life obviously was but she wanted to make movies so there is only one season. fucking claire danes.

641 -- sofia vergara wearing gold and looking fantastic. tracy jordan wearing...pale pink? or maybe white but its hard to tell with the red carpet glow going on

642 -- TELL ME THAT IS NOT LAUREN GRAHAM. i literally just slapped my hand to my forehead because that white/black/cruela de ville MESS makes me want to weep. i love lauren graham and i am going to cry now

646 -- sofia vergara is so cute and i love her rolling her rrrrs but i also dont love the weird line thing going down her otherwise flawless dress....someone help her and omg ryan seacrest stop asking every.modern.family actor about ed o'neill

647 -- jon hamm and jenifer whatserface from that lesbian movie -- JON hamm is soo sexy i cant even deal also i hear he may be dancing in the opening number...also is it sacrilege to say i dont love mad men? i like looking at it, but its just kind of....dull.

649 -- ricky and jane gervais damn he has a bomb wife! and he's loosing weight and looks goooood. i wish ricky gervais was hosting. guaranteed this show would be a billion times funnier than whatever jimmy fallon has up his sleeve.

652 -- bryan cranston. three peat? also i really do want to watch his show breaking bad because its about meth and that really intrigues me. oh january jones preview N OKATE GOSSELIN IS AT THE EMMYS OH MY GOD I JUST KEEP SCREAMING NO AT THE TELEVISION!!! what i really wanted to say jan jones looks bad per usual and christina hendricks stick to black that lavender hue isnt great but your boobs are contained i guess....

657 -- ryan murphy, blue sunglasses. false.

659 -- january jones, are you ever NOT a hot mess? is that tina fey i see on deck?!!?! say its so....

700 -- tina fey! LOVE YOU. she looks good even if i think there are hyroglyphics on her dress, whatever i still really like it. and her hair is looking tresemme commercial worthy

702 -- christina hendricks meh i dont hate the color as much as i did at the first glance but its not really as flattering but it must be kind of difficult to dress dem curves. if i were here id go naked

705 -- betty white, though i love her, kind of always dresses like shes sti7ll on golden girls.

708 -- anna paquin and stephen moyer. newlyweds and anna's dress is really fucking awesome and its so weird to see stephen moyer not the color of death. life really becomes him! also is he short? i mean he is taller than ryan seacrest but thats not saying much...but everytime i look at the screen i fall more in more in love with how awesome and avant garde her dress is!

711 -- heidi and seal. power couple. bomb. nothing else to say. heidis dress is insanely short! AH didnt even realize that.

713 -- mindy kaling. prom hair, hey-o! but she's funny and i like her dress. the cut out front is obviously a trend this year.

714 -- MANNY FROM MODERN FAMILY! ahhhh ahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa le mom le sister i am in love avec him. look at his tiny pimp hat! ugh ryan seacrest with matthew morrison. hate him. he looks typically tool-ish. AH NPH!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU. i want to carry your babies in my womb. look at his suit he is so adorable and i want to be best friends with him foreverrrr.

718 -- kyra sedgwick is absolutely stunning. perfect dress. her hair is very jennifer aniston the year she won for friends. also i just rewatched footloose and realized how lucky she is for marrying kevin bacon -- where is he?! is it weird that i was totally attracted to him while watching?

725 -- amy poehler looks bomb for just having had a baby, dayum guuurl. god i love this couple! such cutieheads! ah, their seventh wedding anniversary so cute i might cry hahahahaaaaaa THEY ARE FUNNY.

727 -- julia louis dreyfus i cannot believe that she is still nominated! i forgot that her show still exiseted. well, i guess not anymore. i like her earrings and i can't see that much about her dressss but i like the copper sash now that i know its a copper sash and not a mesh situation which i though it was at first, but now i am backtracking -- is it mesh?! ugh i hope not

729 -- hugh laurie. he is SO DAPPER. is it weird that he is older than my dad and yet i would do him in a hot second?

731 -- steve carell and his wife nancy. i cant even believe that they are continuing the office after he leaves. that's a downward train headed to nowheresville if i've ever seen one. glenn close on the long shot -- would we call that dress olive? i dont know, but we would call it not great.

734 -- juliana margulies...what the f is up with her hair? why does it look all...nesty and frazzled mom?

741 -- ed o'neill. he's such a bean. his wife is pretty and kind of looks like an older sofia vergara so that makes some weird sort of sense, right? also! spotted, elisabeth moss! no wedding band. nude dress with a lot of train business she has to continually deal with. AH! Julie Bowen! such a cutie i actually really love her dress, i love the ruffle but the problem with all of these dress is ARE THEY BLACK OR NAVY BLUE?

743 -- jane krakowski!!!! navy blue again. also she is so adorable and she looks really elegant and i like the shoulder rouching and her shoes HOT DAMN are high!

745 john krasinski!! where is emily blunt?!!?! where is she/! i want them to be a couple and be so cute and i want to squeeze them and i want them to make babies ASAP. why is she down there on the carpet and not up here talking to ryan?! THEY ARE AN UP-AND-COMING POWER COUPLE, TREAT THEM AS SUCH.

746 -- dianna agron, i really am liking her carolina hererra!! oh, michael c. hall! i kind of wish he was still bald (although by choice and not chemo).

748 -- matthew fox, my fellow oregon lover. his wife/mother (which one?! hopefully mom) looks like elvira. i'm so baffled. please be his mom. AH! jenna fischer looks like a cutie, her orange-red dress is nice and its nice to see her not excessively tanned like SO MANY OTHERS on the red carpet.

okay break to get fully prepared for the start of the show