it's been a bad couple days of feminism in this world. now let me first say this -- i generally hate feminism. i mean, i believe in total equality and sexism makes me want to rip someone's eyeballs out, but I hate the whole "women are better than men!! let's burn our bras and look down upon women who stay at home with their kids!" like, I don't want to stay home with my kids because I want to be a teacher and that's my perogative, but it's all about choice, and women should have the ability to choose just as men do. I hate the "men are dumb pigs!" school of feminist thought because lets face it -- we ALL know men are stupid. but women are equally as dumb because we still get drunk and screw boys like whores on tequila (if i may borrow a line from one Meredith Grey). We're all equally idiotic, and we should all be allowed to express that idiocy as we see fit.

So now that that is cleared up, let me relate two startlingly disappointing incidents that have happened recently. first of all, in the entertainment industry (my favorite place), CBS announced that it was cutting AJ Cook (female actress #1) from Criminal Minds and significantly reducing Paget Brewster's (female actress #2) episode count. What the WHAT, CBS? I know I care more about TV than the average person (well, here in the good ol' U.S. of A. that may or may not be true), but this is seriously an outrage even if you have never seen Criminal Minds in your life, even if you don't have a TV (which is both admirable and baffling). It's sending a message that strong female characters are easily replaceable and not integral to the success of a show. It's also terrible for the lovely actresses, who have done a wonderful job on a male-dominated show, and have been fired simply because of their sex. I thought we were over that!!! It's 2010 for godsakes, not 1910. It's completely unfair, and I really am disappointed that powerful television executives have so little regard for how blatantly sexist these actions are. It's social responsibility, you know? Frankly, it's whackadoo bullshit.

Secondly, and more personally, I flew back from Boston to Portland this past Tuesday, a typical occurrence in my life. I was already pissed off because I had to pay $15 to check my one and only checked bag, and I have like... $58 in my bank account currently. I was hungry, but got to the airport late, so I haphazardly picked up a bagel that turned out to be cinnamon raisin which is my LEAST favorite bagel flavor, and I was lugging around a heavy Rick Steves branded backpack and a stuffed to the gills purse. So, you can imagine my happiness when I finally boarded the plane and got the chance to relax for a cool five and a half hours (psych!). I walked onto the plane, found my seat, placed my purse on said seat, and then removed backpack from back in order to place it in the "shared overhead space". Two things -- 1. I was NOT holding up the line of passengers, people behind me were putting things up too, and 2. I am 5'1". I was struggling a bit to get my bag up into the compartment because it's kind of high, and my bag strap got stuck on something. Usually, in this situation, a nice taller person steps up and just lends a hand to help me get the bag all the way settled. It takes about .5 seconds and no physical labor since I'm still actually supporting the weight of the bag. This time, however, something SO RUDE happened. A kind of suave looking gentleman stepped up, shoved my bag up, and remarked, "Women. They always overpack with shoes and then don't want to deal with their shit."

YEP. And I know he could have said something meaner or called me a whore bitch or something, but what the WHAT sir?! SORRY I DON'T HAVE THE ABILITY TO CONTROL MY HEIGHT! AND -- there were NO shoes in that bag. AND -- i WAS dealing with my shit. AND -- I didn't ask you to help! AND -- shut up you stupid sexist asshole!! Needless to say, I was all light up, but I stood there for a solid second or two, blinking, trying to figure out if that had really happened. When I had ascertained that it in fact did, I whipped around, and in my frantic state, managed to come up with this verbal jab: "wow, thanks for being so helpful AND AN ASSHOLE!" I kind of hissed the last part, but he definitely heard it. As did the flight attendant, but I think she was impressed. But, UGH! Lame, right?!

So yeah, all in all -- a bad few days for feminism. Sometimes I like traditional sexism like how men mostly have to ask women out and how girls can make out and its hot and you can get paid for it, but this shit is just unacceptable! Come on world, get it together. And the oil spill! Get that shit together, too.

Okay, so I'm like a week late with this, but I just watched the 2010 MTV Movie Awards. I know, I know, for someone who is usually on her entertainment a-game, the fact that I missed this disgustingly tween event might seem surprising. The thing is, though, that it was only today that I made the most startling and exciting discovery of my young life -- even though we had sadly committed to the fact that we only had 29 channels (most of them QVC and angry evangelicals spewing their insane nonsense), iiiiif you flip up high enough past all the channels of static, MTV APPEARS CLEAR AS A PROACTIV AFTER-SHOT! Literally.best.moment.of.life.

So anywayz, obviously I've been watching MTV ad nauseum since this discovery, and imagine my total happiness when the Movie Awards (which, yes, I realize I'm about 11 years too young to make it okay that I watched), came on. Except, it all went downhill from there because Tom Cruise was all up on that stage, and he makes me want to rip my own eyeballs out and donate them to a science that is not also a religion and/or created by an author in an elaborate scheme to uncover the idiocy of the human race (Mr. Hubbard, that smell is success). And, Twilight was not only present (UGH) it was winning (double UGH and also, just...REALLY?!). And it's one of my many (oft ridiculous) stances that I am anti-Twilight in any and every single form one can possibly be anti-something. But then, a miracle happened. The actual only thing that could ever even attempt to salvage the dual misery of Tom Cruise and Twilight.



The thing is -- I love Sandra Bullock. Love. Not in a simple girl crush way, no no. It's much deeper than that. Not like I want to be her, or have her life (yikes! especially not these days, poor love), but I just...she makes me so happy. She's so beautiful. My roommate Brittany shares this kind of weird but totally platonic view, and we've spent many an hour just daydreaming about basking in the glow Sandra Bullock emits just by being the coolest, best person in the whole entire world. Overstatement? Hardly. My love affair for Sandra began when I was seven years old and my mom took me to see While You Were Sleeping because she couldn't find a babysitter (thanks, mom!). I was enchanted. Add in Hope Floats, Practical Magic (THE BEST MOVIE EVARRRR. Sandra Bullock + Magic + Pre-Botox Nicole Kidman + Murder Mystery = amazeballs. simple as that), and 28 Days, and by age 11 I was a self-described Sandraphile. And it only went uphill from there! Miss Congeniality, Murder by Numbers, Two Weeks Notice?! Good GOD she has an impressive resume! And that's even before you figure in Crash, The Proposal, and The Blindside! I know what you're thinking, though -- what about Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous? I'm not going to lie, that wasn't our finest hour. But, as I have to remind myself daily, she is only human afterall.

zANYWAYS, back on point, as it turns out, Sandra Bullock was winning the Generation Award. She looked gorgeous, it goes without saying, but I'm saying it anyway because she really really did. And Bradley Cooper and Betty White were up there and saying the nicest things and Sandra looked so happy, and then, honest to blog -- I welled up. Alone, in my living room, mid-Subway's Veggie DeLite, watching Sandra Bullock get compliment at the MTV Movie Awards. Hand to heart, this happened. And it didn't even feel weird or wrong! It felt perfectly natural to watch this deity accept the award -- I felt as though I was watching a best friend going through the same process. I was so filled with joy for her, I cried. She's had a rough year, and even if she hadn't, she deserves this award more than anyone, and also all the other awards in the world.

So, Sandra Bullock, on the exceedingly miniscule chance you'll ever read this lame blogpost, let it be known -- I am emphatically not a weird stalker/crazed fanatic trying to break into your house and do weird things with your shoes. NOT my style, mon frere. Really, I just want to meet you someday so I can tell you that I have an inexplicable but very real (platonic!!! cannot be stressed enough) love for you, and I think you are really cool, and I think your new baby is fucking adorable so maybe I could be his nanny. Just a thought.