Okay, so I'm like a week late with this, but I just watched the 2010 MTV Movie Awards. I know, I know, for someone who is usually on her entertainment a-game, the fact that I missed this disgustingly tween event might seem surprising. The thing is, though, that it was only today that I made the most startling and exciting discovery of my young life -- even though we had sadly committed to the fact that we only had 29 channels (most of them QVC and angry evangelicals spewing their insane nonsense), iiiiif you flip up high enough past all the channels of static, MTV APPEARS CLEAR AS A PROACTIV AFTER-SHOT! Literally.best.moment.of.life.

So anywayz, obviously I've been watching MTV ad nauseum since this discovery, and imagine my total happiness when the Movie Awards (which, yes, I realize I'm about 11 years too young to make it okay that I watched), came on. Except, it all went downhill from there because Tom Cruise was all up on that stage, and he makes me want to rip my own eyeballs out and donate them to a science that is not also a religion and/or created by an author in an elaborate scheme to uncover the idiocy of the human race (Mr. Hubbard, that smell is success). And, Twilight was not only present (UGH) it was winning (double UGH and also, just...REALLY?!). And it's one of my many (oft ridiculous) stances that I am anti-Twilight in any and every single form one can possibly be anti-something. But then, a miracle happened. The actual only thing that could ever even attempt to salvage the dual misery of Tom Cruise and Twilight.



The thing is -- I love Sandra Bullock. Love. Not in a simple girl crush way, no no. It's much deeper than that. Not like I want to be her, or have her life (yikes! especially not these days, poor love), but I just...she makes me so happy. She's so beautiful. My roommate Brittany shares this kind of weird but totally platonic view, and we've spent many an hour just daydreaming about basking in the glow Sandra Bullock emits just by being the coolest, best person in the whole entire world. Overstatement? Hardly. My love affair for Sandra began when I was seven years old and my mom took me to see While You Were Sleeping because she couldn't find a babysitter (thanks, mom!). I was enchanted. Add in Hope Floats, Practical Magic (THE BEST MOVIE EVARRRR. Sandra Bullock + Magic + Pre-Botox Nicole Kidman + Murder Mystery = amazeballs. simple as that), and 28 Days, and by age 11 I was a self-described Sandraphile. And it only went uphill from there! Miss Congeniality, Murder by Numbers, Two Weeks Notice?! Good GOD she has an impressive resume! And that's even before you figure in Crash, The Proposal, and The Blindside! I know what you're thinking, though -- what about Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous? I'm not going to lie, that wasn't our finest hour. But, as I have to remind myself daily, she is only human afterall.

zANYWAYS, back on point, as it turns out, Sandra Bullock was winning the Generation Award. She looked gorgeous, it goes without saying, but I'm saying it anyway because she really really did. And Bradley Cooper and Betty White were up there and saying the nicest things and Sandra looked so happy, and then, honest to blog -- I welled up. Alone, in my living room, mid-Subway's Veggie DeLite, watching Sandra Bullock get compliment at the MTV Movie Awards. Hand to heart, this happened. And it didn't even feel weird or wrong! It felt perfectly natural to watch this deity accept the award -- I felt as though I was watching a best friend going through the same process. I was so filled with joy for her, I cried. She's had a rough year, and even if she hadn't, she deserves this award more than anyone, and also all the other awards in the world.

So, Sandra Bullock, on the exceedingly miniscule chance you'll ever read this lame blogpost, let it be known -- I am emphatically not a weird stalker/crazed fanatic trying to break into your house and do weird things with your shoes. NOT my style, mon frere. Really, I just want to meet you someday so I can tell you that I have an inexplicable but very real (platonic!!! cannot be stressed enough) love for you, and I think you are really cool, and I think your new baby is fucking adorable so maybe I could be his nanny. Just a thought.