alright, listen. i have an unhealthy dedication to maintaining this blog because i've already failed like, thrice before. and even though i'm lazy, i generally dislike failing. but, shit's getting rough. i have class every day, and by the time i get home my brain only functions at a level that allows me to watch Lifetime movies and shove string cheese into my mouth with something a little less than precision. So, sorry 'bout it all (one) of you, but prepare for a wholly uninspired post. if i had more time, it still probably wouldn't even be better. as it is, i'm technically supposed to be creating lesson plans that will shock and awe my second-graders into understanding the concept of borrowing. and i am. i am also, however, technically drinking wine by myself and watching pride and prejudice on E! details, schmetails.

henceforth; Why Three of Matthew Gray Gubler's Recent "Tweets"* Show Our Pre-Destined Destiny

*sidenote: I hate the word "tweets". It makes me feel annoyingly social-network-y, and it sounds too close to twat. which is my least favorite word for girl parts, ever. so i'm just going to go with, "twitter-post", which, though longer, makes me hate myself less.

TWITTER-POST ONE: "Who was your favorite Cosby kid? I can't decide. I think maybe Denise...or Olivia...or Theo...dang"

okay, so pretty regular, right? I mean, who doesn't love the Cosby Show? Even if to this day I still don't understand WHY it was called the Cosby Show when it was about the Huxtables -- right? Like what kind of mind-fuckery is that? Just so we'd remember you were the star, Bill? Whatever. The POINT is, The Cosby Show was my go-to daytime television entertainment whenever I was sick at home (which happened rarely, as my mom believed that it didn't matter how shitty you may have felt, if you weren't vomiting continuously you were a-ok to go). And, during these long, delirium-filled days, I would endlessly debate who I liked best. Obviously I always thought of Denise first (AS DID MGG!) because she was Lisa Bonet and she was pretty and trendy and did what she wanted. But then I'd be like, oooh Olivia! Because I'd have weird fantasies that I was Raven and could play Olivia and be super cute all the time and make everyone laugh just by flashing my (invisible) dimples. Obviously, my fantasy world was one in which skin color set no boundaries (rightly so!). But yeah, so I loved Olivia, and wanted to be her. But then there's Theo, who I had such a soft spot for when a particularly bad flu had mr crying as he dealt with his dyslexia. SO, proof #1 -- MGG and I both like the Cosby Show, andddd we both play fair and can't pick favorites.
(I'm fully aware that this is a stretch at best, but three reasons why we're soulmates sounded better as two and I really wanted to express outrage over the title vs. the actual family name)

TWITTER-POST TWO: "I never met a tree I didn't like"

Um, HELLO! Where did I spent my most formative years, ages 12- 14? Oh thats right, a little school that happened to be called the ENVIRONMENTAL middle school. Trees were our GODS. I'm actually not lying when I say that I have chained myself to a tree before in protest of logging. Nor am I fibbing when I say that I can in fact identify every single tree that is native to the Pacific Northwest -- it was actually a required test to graduate 8th grade (seriously). I am a tree-hugger through and through. I am continually on the search for a man who will not think it weird when I recount stories of middle schoolers standing hand-in-hand in the woods singing Cat Stevens and crying because we had to leave this wonderful school that required us to dress up as trees (made out of recycled material, obvi) for the Earth Day parade and march throughout the streets of Portland in 32 degree weather and pouring rain. Have I finally found such a man?! If so, I'm obviously never letting him leave. Although, he might have to up his game to "I never met a tree I didn't love", because my fervor has certainly passed "like" on the adoration spectrum. Trees and I, we're for life. I can't even read The Giving Tree without breaking down into sobs because trees are my people, man!

TWITTER-POST THREE: "Looking at the worlds largest assemblage of mummies. Best day ever"

it is no secret that i LOVE bones and mummies and weird things like that. when I interned at the British Museum, I got to go on a behind-the-scenes tour of the mummies in storage and see all the face masks and wrappings and pickled cats and the girl I was on the tour with was a stupid bz and kept complaining about the "gross-ness" and i almost shook her by her dumb shoulders, because WHAT could be cooler than something that is a REAL LIVE PERSON who was REALLY ALIVE but now could crack into dust if you aren't careful?! And the Egyptians were so genius and their sarcophagi (right? what the f is the plural of sarcophaguses?) are totally amazeballs and so detailed and mainly I'm just enthralled by how crazy old these fuckers are. I passed this love along to my Museum boss' four year old daughter, Ruby, who I watched many a time. We'd trek up to the mummies and she'd exclaim in her adorable British accent that made me want to steal her, "aren't they scary and amazing?" and she'd giggle and we'd talk about which mummy was the prettiest when they were alive.

So, there you have it. Three semi-ridiculous but vehemently argued reasons why matthew gray gubler and i are perfect for each other. also, three prime examples of why, if I were matthew gray gubler, i'd be terrified of me.