my brain doesn't really work anymore. blerg.

i love my job. working with second graders is the best profession EVARRR because short of becoming angelina jolie (the technology for which i haven't quiiiiite perfected yet -- but rest assured, i'm working on it), it's the most complimentary. i mean that literally. seven year olds are super needy and just want you to love them, so hanging out with them every day for eight hours a day is a real self-esteem boost. little girls will raise their hand specifically to tell you that they like your (plain and boring) dress. they'll run up to you on their tiny legs in the morning and give you big hugs and tell you they love you. i've honestly never felt better about myself! who wouldn't want to surround themselves with such laudatory little humans? it's like in one of my favorite movies, aquamarine (yes, one of my favorites. my movie tastes are that of an emotionally misunderstood tween. case in point: i'm currently watching legally blonde 2: red, white and blonde. and loving it). aquamarine, in case you were wondering, is the heartfelt tale of two best friends (emma roberts and jojo of 'leave, get out' fame) who find a mermaid washed up on shore, looking for love obviously, and together they have a summer full of hilarious misadventures overcoming the tribulations of being a teenaged girl, sigh. THE POINT IS, in the movie, Aquamarine (the mermaid girl -- not to be confused with Milagros, the real-life girl from i wanna say, Peru, who was/is actually a mermaid girl but fortunately received successful surgery and now can walk and is taking swim lessons (although...i'm betting she could swim just fine before...)) has starfish earrings that heap praise upon the wearer in weird, smurf-like voices. the slightly terrifying starfish earrings are precisely like my second graders -- i'm actually LOVING this simile i've created. they have teensy little voices, can't tell you enough how great you are, and also leech onto you and have no concept of personal space. lesson learned: second graders are starfish.

second graders are also kind of DUMB. mine are actually academically pretty legit, and have been wowing me continuously with their reading skillz, but good GOD seven year olds are not the brightest some time. Example One: picture a little girl handling scissors like a crazy person, and sneakily looking around the classroom before reaching said scissors up to her bangs. then imagine me sprinting across the classroom and grabbing the offending supply out of her mischievous hands.
"What are you doing!?" I exclaim, as I assumed that second graders would know that cutting flower petals out of construction paper does not necessitate in any way a haircut.
"Nothing."
"Were you going to cut your hair?"
"No."
"Okay, good, because that wouldn't be a good choice. At school, we use scissors to cut paper, never hair. Please be careful."
Repeat this conversation with the same child three times in the next hour. Finish project, walk students to gym, and come back to discover a small area of the floor under the aforementioned students' desk slightly furry. Example Two: it's lunchtime, and i'm on duty which means i go around and open ketchup packets and stop arguments about pudding vs. cookies and generally hate my life. the last five minutes of lunch time is quiet lunch, and the lights are turned down so that the children remember to eat and that lunch is not merely social hour. it works surprisingly well. except, there are always the chatterboxes. i overhear this from one of my girls during quiet lunch --
"...and jacob sitting in a tree, k-i-"
"girls! you need to be quiet, and finish your lunch. you shouldn't be talking at all, let alone about that, it's not very nice." then of course, the denial (plus a little extra)...
"I wasn't!!!!! ..... but they are."