Emmy Redux Part II (COMEDY)

Outstanding Comedy Series --
i. Glee -- yep, I'm a Gleek. All I ever want in life is more singing and dancing, and always more power ballads, so obviously this show is right up my alley. Plus, the actress who plays Brittany has THE.FUNNIEST.LINES on television.
ii. Modern Family -- okay. I think Modern Family is funny, but I don't happen to think it's the second coming of Arrested Development as so many people seem to (hello, that was obviously Better Off Ted). It is funny, and I think the casting is spot-on, so I'll allow it.
iii. Curb Your Enthusiasm -- over.it. Funny, uncouth, yeah yeah yeah. The same schtick is really getting old, to be honest. It's just too expected and therefore loses a lot of it's charm.
iv. Nurse Jackie -- ugh, I'm against this show on principle mainly because my mom (who has notoriously poor taste in television -- I'm talking The Shield bad) loves the shit out of this show. I do like Edie Falco though, and I like the premise, but I don't know if I can actually watch it or want it to win an Emmy.
v. 30 Rock -- well, yes of course. My life hero is Tina Fey, so obviously I'm all about this one. It is also one of the wittiest, smart-funny show ever. It's sly topicality and self-deprecating humor are things I can really get onboard with, and the cast is stellar. Even on an off episode, it's still the perfect show.
vi. The Office -- I'm so heartbroken about this, but I have to say no. I looooved The Office for the first three seasons. Jim & Pam = best romantic tension evah. But then, it started a slow slide into just sheer annoying. They focused in too narrowly on certain characters and forgot the utter genius of Creed and Meredith. It's just not very funny any more, and it kills me to say that. But I must.

If I were Emmy-God, I'd: get rid of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and insert Better Off Ted, the cancellation of which I may never get over (much in the vein of Freaks & Geeks). I would also, with great sadness, switch The Office's spot with Parks and Recreation, which has the same zest and zaniness that the Office used to hold so dear. And I'd love to see 30 Rock win again, but I think it'll go to Glee, with a possible Modern Family upset.

Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Series --
i. Lea Michele (Glee) -- yeah, alright. she's not my personal favorite character on the show, but her voice is unbeatable and she does deliver some great lines. her character is so pathetically endearing, and even as you want to murder rachel berry, you still want her to win sectionals. so good work, lea.
ii. Tina Fey (30 Rock) -- YES. all i have to say is: Tina Fey talking to herself in the mirror during the Deal Breakers episode of this show? Best.thing.ever.
iii. Toni Collette (The United States of Tara) -- yes. playing multiple (absurd) persons and making them not only believable but also hilarious must not be easy, but Toni Collette makes it look so simple. Perfect.
iv. Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine) -- I can't quite understand a. how this show lasted so long, b. how she already actually won an Emmy for it, and c. why critics seem to like it. It's sooo traditional and relies on the same old same old sitcom stuff. No thanks.
v. Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie) -- she's a great actress, sure, but my aforementioned reasons for picketing this show mean I've never seen her in it. So, I guess I'll trust you, Emmy voters. Although with your track record, that might be risky.
vi. Amy Poehler (Parks & Recreation) -- yep, I'm good with this one. Both Amy and her character, Leslie, are just so damn sweet and lovable, while being total goofballs. We all have a little Leslie Knope in us, and Amy Poehler plays it perfectly - not overdone like Steve Carell's Michael Scott has veered towards, but just right.

If I were Emmy-God, I'd: get Jane Lynch the hell out of the Supporting Actress bs, boot Julia Louis-Dreyfus out of this list, insert JL, who is the funniest person on television. All in all, I'm okay with this list, though. And while I wouldn't be surprised to see Leo Michele or Toni Collette walk away with it, I'm still rooting for my girl TIna.

Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series --
i. Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm) -- nope. same old same old. just sick of it. you're vulgar and you swear a lot enthusiastically and i think both of those things are hilarious, but i'm over it coming from you.
ii. Alec Baldwin (30 Rock) -- spot on. YES. Alec Baldwin might be an ass in real life, but he is Jack Donaghy. There's a reason he's won this so many times -- because he simply excels at this character, if not as a human being.
iii. Matthew Morrison (Glee) -- No. NO NO NO. I cannot STAND this character. He is sooo pedantic and uncomfortable (especially whilst rapping) and he talks to his love interest Emma in a really weird, condescending, rape-y way. HATE him. Can't even believe he is include on here. Travesty.
iv. Steve Carell (The Office) -- you know, he's good as Michael Scott. He gets us to laugh and he gets us to care about him, but like I said before - the glory days of The Office have since passed. I'm so so on this one.
v. Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory) -- yep, good call Emmy voters. He plays an asperger-y type genius so absolutely perfectly. You can't help but love the character, even as he makes you cringe repeatedly. Awesome acting.
vi. Tony Shalhoub (Monk) -- I thought this show ended like three years ago. Apparently not. Eh, I guess he's alright. Whatever.

If I were Emmy-God, I'd: never have allowed Matthew Morrison to have been nominated. Egregious error. I would fill in his rightly-vacated seat with Zachary Levi of Chuck, who I have the biggest soft spot for. He's just an ordinary guy trying to be extraordinary, and his struggles are so sweet and he tries so hard. Wonderful character. I'm not really enchanted with most of these nominees, but am hard pressed to find better ones. Sidenote: the fact that Charlie Sheen wasn't nominated for Two and a Half Men is the absolute best news I've heard since Obama was elected. I'm going to go with perennial favorite Alec Baldwin for the cake, but with Jim Parsons providing stiff competition (and a slim chance for an upset).

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series --
i. Jane Lynch (Glee) -- the winner. My personal belief is that she could have gone for Lead, but either way -- Sue Sylvester is the funniest woman on television. Every quip out of her mouth is a comedic gem. She just makes me happy.
ii. Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live) -- she's overused. I don't hate this nomination, but I can't fully support it either. Her characters are usually funny, but she's best when not used in every single skit. She's funny, but sometimes the humor gets old real fast, and it feels so overused it's not funny.
iii. Jane Krakowski (30 Rock) -- YES. she's nominated frequently, but I am so sad that she's never won. I think she is absolutely hysterical as Jenna. She is so believable as the most ridiculous human on earth, and she delivers even the most insane of lines spot-on.
iv. Julie Bowen (Modern Family) -- yep. Loved her since Ed. She's perfect in this role because as often as you can see her as the realistic straight man, you can also see her as the perfect match for her husband and the perfect ice skating partner for her brother.
v. Sofia Vergara (Modern Family) -- eh, okay. I don't think she's particularly hilarious on the show, but she is enjoyable to watch. I mean, she's funny but if she weren't there, I don't think the show would really take the biggest of a hit.
vi. Holland Taylor (Two and A Half Men) -- NO. and I'm not even considering her acting abilities, whatever they may be; I'm merely basing this on the fact that Two and A Half Men is the absolute worst most overrated drivel of a show that has ever been created. I'm actually pained by the fact that most Americans (ugh, as a country we are really NOT the brightest) watch AND LIKE this shit.

If I were Emmy-God, I'd: treat Two and A Half Men like Charlie Sheen did Brooke Mueller, and Holland Taylor would be an unfortunate casualty. I'd flip a coin between Kristin Wiig and Sofia Vergara, and one of them would have to go. Busy Philipps would absolutely get a spot for Cougar Town, because her dumb blonde Laurie is so sweetly clueless and trashy. She's a total scene stealer, and deserves a nom. Futhermore, I'd get Portia de Rossi in there for Better Off Ted, because she was epic and it is a tragedy that we don't get more of Veronica's often unintentional humor. While I'd love to see Jane Krakowski finally recognized for lines such as "do you need a sex tape release? Because I've got a weird one. It's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me!", we all know it's Jane Lynch going home with that Emmy.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series --
i. Chris Colfer (Glee) -- yeah, good deal. Although I like him a lot more when he's not crying again about how his dad doesn't love him. HELLO, Mike O'Malley tells you every episode that he loves you! Too overdone, that storyline. However, I'm so pleased to see such a heartfelt portrayal recognized.
ii. Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother) -- yeah, solid. His Barney is a total ass most of the time, but we love him anyway. He walks the line between too far and not far enough so well it's as if he was born to do it. Excellent work.
iii. Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family) -- yeah, sure. I don't have excessively strong feelings one way or the other on this one, but I do find his character enjoyable, so I'll give it to ya. The character and I share the same fear of birds, so we stand together.
iv. Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men) -- NO. For reasons stated above, absolutely not. no and never. although, it's better than a nom for Charlie Sheen. But still, despicable.
v. Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family) -- yes. He's my favorite character on this show. I think he is absolutely hilarious in every scene (as he steals it, high-o!) Perfect job. He's so sincere and his comedic timing is infallible.
vi. Ty Burrell (Modern Family) -- yeah, he is pretty great. Has a lot of heart. Is so doofy but you have to love it, and him. He's probably my second fave character, and he does a great job of delivering hilarious lines completely straight faced.

If I were Emmy-God, I'd: have canceled Two and A Half Men the day it aired, and therefore Jon Cryer's ill-deserved spot would go to 30 Rock's Jack MacBrayer, because Kenneth is so absurd as a human that you can't help but love the portrayal. Love it. I think this category is really even all around (minus Jon Cryer duh), but I'm going to go with a split between Eric Stonestreet and Ty Burrell for the win.