it would be easy for me to write off today, thanksgiving, as just another random thursday, but a shitty one because 30 rock isn't on. you see, i've had to cancel my thanksgiving plans (going to maine with dear roomie), on account of the fact that I was recently diagnosed with a sinus infection, and ear infection, and bronchitis. the doctor at the clinic was indelibly impressed with my outrageously strong immune system, because apparently i should have figured out i was dying like a week earlier than i did, because my body should have shut down already. sooo yeah. i'm stuck in worcester, massachusetts, the shittiest place in the entire country, sipping on gatorade and drowning my sorrows in broad-spectrum antibiotics. so you can see where i could throw up my hands at the whole "giving thanks" shabang and retreat to the cave that is my bed, but i'm actually in a pretty great mood. and it might just be the drugs talking, because lord knows i've had a lot today, but i have a lot to be thankful for.

1. first and foremost, i am thankful for twitter. twitter is the best invention in the world. except maybe like, toothpaste and laptops. i believe i've mentioned once or thrice how twitter allows me to stalk celebrities with reckless abandon; if you know me at all, you'll know this is all i ever want in this world. more specifically, twitter has allowed me and my main man, a certain Mr. Gray Gubler, to inch closer and closer to lovahs status. I mean, he might not know it yet, but beeelieve me, it's happening. it's like a slow moving "accio" spell -- like i've lost my voice and haven't completely mastered nonverbal spells yet (just, go with it, okay? deathly hallows part 1 coming out just reaffirmed my extreme sadness that i'm forever destined to remain a muggle). OKAY the point is, i'm dually thankful for twitter and it's main purpose in my life, allowing me to grow closer to MGG. I now know a looot more about him, and will use this excessive knowledge to my advantage when I move down to LA to stalk him. And, I'm still clinging to the slimmest hope that someday he'll tweet me back. because really the only online relationship i can get on board with is one that ends with me and MGG bumping uglies in his Criminal Minds trailer. Which would be, ultimately, more ideal than doing it in a bed in his (i'm sure artistically decorated) apartment, because I could walk out of the trailer post-coital and see my #5 girl crush paget brewster and be all, "oh sup, girl". see, i have it all worked out. foolproof.

2. secondly, i'm thankful for the genius who invented netflix. i actually know this genius because i've babysat for his kids because they live across the street from my bff's grandma in santa cruz, but SERIOUSLY thank you sir-whose-name-i-can't-remember-but-your-kids-are-cutiebeans. as i've been wallowing around in a pit of crumpled kleenex and coughdrops, netflix instantwatch has been my savior. one show in particular has kept me occupied as i cough up half a lung -- psych. ALL of the first four seasons are on netflix, just waiting for me to click play. SO considerate! also, i'm thankful for IMDB.com because it was really bothering me that i couldn't figure out what the girl detective in psych (maggie lawson) was from, and then imdb informed me that she was in one of the greatest disney channel original movies of all time, model behavior, with the one and only justin timberlake. honestly, when this movie came out in the year a-twothouuusand, i was a twelve year old with overalls and a dream. and my dream was basically a world in which my two favorite things (disney channel original movies and justin timberlake) would collide. AND THEY DID! and maggie lawson was a part of it. so of course, she's been retroactively added to the girl crush list (eh, let's go with #8). zANYWAYS, the point is, thanks netflix, for keeping a girl entertained.

3. thirdly, i'm very grateful for the fact that my schmorgesboard (how the fuck do you spell that word? if only the rat from charlotte's web were here...right? whoa that's a weird and random insert into this post but a memory of watching that movie and sobbing uncontrollably just burst into my mind) of illnesses has wiped out my appetite. usually, this is the time of the year where my figure balloons up to roseanne-like proportions (okaaay, a bit of an exaggeration), because i like to do this thing where i eat a whole pecan pie by myself, after going back for round 5 with my friends Mashed Potato and Buttered Roll. so, it's kind of a nice change that this year, i have no appetite and therefore may even be a little svelte-r than i was before. althouuuugh...i could probably force down a pecan pie if i had one. it'd be a waste not to, you know. i guess it's a good thing i'm sequestered to this teensy apartment with no pie in sight. so i'm thankful for the fact that i'm just in my inert state of no-toned-ness, and not entering into the territory of general flabbiness.

i don't know if you were expecting a somewhat less superficial thanksgiving blog post from me -- if you were, clearly you're not quite familiar with the way i live my life (poorly, judging by my festering illnesses and withdrawal like symptons stemming from my lack of alcohol for the past week), but i do want to say that i am truly thankful for my beautiful friends who mock me mercilessly and love me unconditionally, my whack-a-doo family and their slightly abrasive alcoholic but altogether supportive spirit, and my puppy and kitten who are the cutest little baby beans in the entire world. and of course, a shout out to my new BFF -- broad spectrum antibiotic FTW! (a bigger win, perhaps, if it didn't have a warning label that read "may cause diarrhea". but, can't win 'em all).