In middle school, we girls would giggle our way through the creation of masterpieces called "top fives" -- that is, a list of the five boys that had won us over with their prepubescent charm that particular week. this system of essentially having four back-up plans in case your #1 wasn't feelin' it was actually incredibly necessary, as Michael Reyes was #1 on every list. A quick facebook-stalk of the current Michael Reyes leaves no doubt that this would still be the case. Zanyways, I was recently thinking back on those days with rose-colored glasses when the harsh truth of reality hit me; that if I were to make a similar list today, not only would it be comprised of people with whom I'm not actually acquainted, it would really only include fictional characters. That's right. I have reached the point in my single-girl life that my fantasies have developed a wholly delusion feel. My dream men don't even exist in real life, let alone in my life! Therefore, I now (begrudgingly proudly) present to you...

My Top 5 Fictional Characters With Whom I'd Like To Enter Into Marriage

5. Indiana Jones


Indiana Jones is exactly what I aspire to be: a half-time historian, half-time sleuth, full-time badass. He's a professor, so he's a smarty-pants, but he's not afraid of living in the fast lane. While he might covet adventure and women more than I'd like (especially once we start makin' babies), he's savvy enough to remain relatively unmaimed even as he swings on a collapsed suspension bridge while spears are being shot his way by ruthless natives. That takes some serious skill! Furthermore, have you seen that man work his whip? Enough said.

4. Dr. Spencer Reid of "Criminal Minds"


I'm not exactly sure why this geek appeals to me so much, but god does he ever. Usually, I'm not that into dudes with long hair, but I'm thinking it's his impeccable bone structure that really makes up for it. He also has a photographic memory, so he would never forget my birthday or our anniversary. Sure, working for the FBI does expose him to things like anthrax and the occasional kidnap and torture, but I mean, Who Haven't? He's been working out to ensure that doesn't happen again, so he's buff, and he's been called a certified genius more than once. What's not to love?

3. Mr. Darcy


One of my favorite things is people who have a tough outer shell but a heart of gold (Brooke Davis is another glaring example of this). This describes Darcy perfectly - he may act all masculine and tempermental (which he is in alllll the right ways), but when it comes down to it, he'll always do the right thing and follow his heart. He's a doting older brother, and MAN is he rich! He's well read and likes a little spitfire in a woman, which I would be more than willing to provide. Plus, he sure does give a great "listen bitch, I'm in love with you" speech. He might rank #1 in that category (which we will save for another day).

2. Lucas Scott of "One Tree Hill"


(let me preface this by saying -- yes. I know. The guiltiest of my pleasures but good god do I love me some Tree Hill) He's an athlete and a scholar - the best of both worlds, as my nemesis Miley might say. He quotes literary greats like it's his job, he can fix a car like it's no big thang, and I'll be damned if he doesn't have some serious integrity. That Karen Roe really raised her son right. Lucas always tries to do the admirable thing, even if it means self-sacrificing himself to live in his manipulative father's house. He's a true philanthropist, always thinking of others, and a best selling author. He might need a few reminders to keep his hair from growing too long and channeling a boy-bander, but I'm sure he's worth the trouble.

1. Ron Weasley


Sure, he's not rich like Darcy, a genius like Spencer, an adventurer like Indy or an athlete like Lucas, but Ron Weasley has serious heart. Despite the fact that he's a wizard (a fact that makes me love him all the more), he's probably the most attainable of all the fictional characters on this list. He's not the superhero Harry, sure, but he's dependable, loyal, and endearingly imperfect. Ron Weasley just wants to matter in this world, and riddle me a nobler cause (pun most DEFINITELY intended). He has proven himself to be a force to be reckoned with whether he's on the Quidditch pitch or fighting Voldy and his Death Eater cronies. He simply tries his hardest and does the best he can, which is plenty good enough for me. Plus, who wouldn't want Molly Weasley for a mother in law?!